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2012-01-19T00:34:00.002+08:00

hello, dear.

i just im back for good? mayb not. i just miss randomly posting shit. sometimes, i dont know why i cried so much this year. guess, it really hurts loving someone whom.. loves you so much. love hurts. that's truth.

2011-02-26T11:52:00.003+08:00

ugh. dont feel so good.

went to henderson waves last night. it was damn bloody awesome.

2011-01-08T10:49:00.002+08:00

hello there.

just found out some things. pretty bad ones, i guess. well, if you're happy.. i think its okay then.

/:

2011-01-06T19:54:00.003+08:00

just learnt a horrible truth. cant believe that he's like those fuckers.

i dont know why i feel so upset. kinda disappointed as well. i thought he's better than that. for some reason i feel like breaking his head open. why the fuck you do that for? somehow i keep have this image of him with another girl. seriously, you're better than that. why?

forget it. he thought i'm just upset of his jokes. anw, i will never see him the same way anymore. i feel so insignificant. srsly, why the fuck im upset?

love hurts. hurts way too much.

2011-01-04T21:06:00.003+08:00

hello two zero one one.

first post eva! woots woots.
had an amazing 3 nights eva tooooooo! so fucking awesome. but i ate alot so. it was fun being awesome people too! the nicest doctor ever! somehow it felt weird when he came to visit on the last night. i dont know why. sometimes, i feel like a cat when im with him. meow~

lol. i just wanna throw that in. it shouldnt mean anything AT ALL! im weird. so, it isnt any surprise, right?

maybe i should throw it some pictures as well, right? but i dont have any right now.

omg i havent seen you at all this year. i miss you so.

2010-12-19T09:54:00.002+08:00

the xmas party yesterday, i came late. missed some people. by the time i came, they're gone. sigh.

well, i ate quite a lot from the party. they kept a lot of food for me. there's fruit cake, fried stuffs and fruit salad. i got this perfume stuffs. i love the smell. so sweet.

anw, i bought a picture and a mug. sigh.

somehow im slightly glad that i wont get to see you for a couple of days.

2010-12-16T22:30:00.002+08:00

its a while.

i keep telling myself that i would blog one day but i'll always ended up not to. life has been bad, i guess. cried a little bit a few days ago. felt kinda better right now.

someone talked to me about mixing around or just go out to enjoy life. life sucks. i dont think i want to join it anymore. well, that's what i always tell myself. why should i enjoy? i'll end up feeling horrible and depressed all over again. so, what's the point? someone pointed out my facebook statuses. why so emo and dramatic? im not a drama queen, am i? ugh. the thought of being so drama just to get a particular someone's attention. i think that's what the fuck have been doing. wanting this person to notice me and the things i do. im tired. why the fuck i bother?

i give up. working is much more stress relieving. i dont have to think about you and people. yes, i need to work more, work harder, work even more harder. this fucking pay isnt enough for anything. working distracts me. working is enjoyable. fuck myself. i have no fucking life anymore.

):

2010-10-30T20:39:00.002+08:00

hey yo.

updates yo! the other day, i actually accompanied my mum to Msia. it was freaking awesome the fact that the place is uber peaceful. wished i could stay there or here would be just like there.

anyway, realised that i broke my specs for the i-dont-know-how-many-fucking times. had to use the other specs which made me giddy for the whole day. in the end, got new specs. its kinda cute.

random. my crush is so adorable when he's frustrated. i hope that he get his assignments and research done soon! (:

2010-10-20T15:49:00.003+08:00

what a lazy day.

i refused to accompany my mum to stay a night there. furthermore, i have work cm. i didnt want to stay over and come back to work feeling so tired.

somehow i feel so selfish right now. its always have been me me me me, right?

i feel so bad. maybe i should really go? grr. i hate myself.

2010-10-19T18:20:00.003+08:00

hello love.

when was the last time i blog here? i miss blogging my heart out just to feel better. what the fuck happened to me? why did i stop? well i miss you, love.

updates updates.
resigned from cgh. i think i did mention this a couple of times before? well, i actually lost hope after that.

received call from kwsh. and BAM, now im working at kwsh. the people was kinda nice. but im tired of getting blamed for something i didnt do and some of them really spoke to me quite harshly. i feel that i dont deserve it.

yesterday, for the first and last (im positive) time i had dinner with the person im having a crush on. we talked about stuffs. the person reminded me some things that i had selfishly forgotten; the reasons why i join nursing at the first place. i realised that i have been selfish. all i have been thinking is myself.

he said "there no ugly girl, but a girl who lacks confidence"

the next time i'll see you, i remind myself of those words and the reason why im not good enough for you.

2010-09-08T20:35:00.004+08:00

hello you.

its been a loooooooong time i last blog, eh? i guess i miss those silly blogging days. well, thought i should update myself with whatever have been happening.

# resigned from my first workplace. it was somewhat the most depressing days for my life. never thought that it'll end that way. still, i miss those people there. i guess without their guidance, i bet i would be fucking my current job.

# got this current job by randomly looking for nursing homes. thought i should try some different than acute setting. glad that they actually gave me a chance. (:

# awesome people at work!! im feel so blessed.

BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUSTAV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

something random;
"WOW YOU LOOKED PRETTY TODAY!" "HUH, WHAT?" "BED 30 SAID." disappointed. D:

2010-05-09T19:28:00.001+08:00

crying helps. moving on to tumblr

2010-05-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

keep moving forward / http://hearmecry.tumblr.com/

2010-04-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

mhm. trying to blog with the iPhone. i guess it's working perfectly. well, the room is kinda crowded since mum invited her friends from Indonesia over. hope that it won't be for too long. i don't really like male visitors coming home. and this reminds me.. there was a lady that wanted to introduce me to her brother who is working as an army. ugh. i hope he doesn't fucking calls me. why the fuck did i remind myself of this fucking incident? dammit

2010-04-25T00:08:00.002+08:00

its been a while i last posted here.

well, i got rejected by ttsh which it leads me to a (well not really depression, anyway i'll call it..) major disappointment. felt like everything is the end. i didnt want to go out of the room, just lay on the bed thinking of life.

summarised everything. missed the previous ward party and made some friends pretty upset. but its all settled after the interview with the community hospital which i randomly applied. eversince, life's been amazing. got an iphone and a new job. yay.

just hope i wont screw this new job too. (:

2010-04-05T03:20:00.008+08:00

btw, i took lots and lots of the red-eared slider. so fucking cute!

// sorry double picture, if you notice

2010-04-05T02:39:00.002+08:00

just applied job at some near hospitals. just hope i get it.

being jobless for almost a week is like being in a stagnant dream. nothing's happening, time is wasting. i wished i did have to leave. but then again, i'll fucked it up anyway.

btw, i realised people do really care. but then, why are they caring? they must be fucking wasted or something. or is it because they took pity on me? fuck, i need to stop being an asshole.

and i miss my mum so much ):

2010-04-03T00:18:00.004+08:00

this week marks the end of my first job. i cant help it but to feel like a major failure. life sucks, really.

but then again, seeing the kids without parents and having to share a room with bunch of people sucks more. im just being a whiny fucker. i need to just shut the fuck up and feel fortunate.

and this year, im going to let the past go. i have let the tortoises go where they ought to be and i hope i could let these thoughts of you go too. mayb i have already did but i never realised it. still, sometimes i miss chatting with you online. you were like my first love that i never had. sigh.

2010-03-27T20:43:00.002+08:00

fuck.

i cried a little yesterday. i think my heart died too. these few days i have been fucking it all up. this fucking giddiness just wont fucking go away. i feels like a boat ride. like anyone fucking cares, they kept saying "OMG! ARE YOU PREGNANT!?" like FUCK NO. why should i fuck someone? i feel so fucked up. mayb im just exhausted mentally and physically. i dont really eat properly these few days anyway. ugh.

sometimes, i really wished i would just collapsed in front of them. i have lost my mind, officially.

i feel like everything i do this NEVER good enough for certain people. i really did my best. mayb that's what i thought? my best was not good enough. im not a confirm registered staff. im a failure if they doesnt confirm me next month. i dont feel like talking to any of the 'big people'. i just want to know if im good enough to be confirm. i feel like a fucking disappointment. i feel like im an attention-seeker. i fucking hate myself. why am i even still here? why the fuck am i still fucking here?

btw, when are they going to get the fuck out? not they, just him. fuck.

2010-03-26T00:28:00.001+08:00

although seeing your adorable face makes me happy, i feel so idiotic each time i made a fool of myself in front of you.

i need to shut the fuck up, srsly.

2010-03-21T22:59:00.002+08:00

hello love,

just one more day. well, today was okay.
MARKSIM SAID THAT I BULLY HIM, WHICH IM SURE I DIDNT! AHA.

(:

2010-03-17T01:23:00.002+08:00

i met him on this day and had my heart broken with a simple note.

2010-03-17T01:13:00.004+08:00

my love,
this 21st birthday was slightly better than the other birthdays but not as epic as when mike goh and friends actually wished me one day later. Still after screwing up at work and fucking it all up, i realised i should just fucking shut my mouth and do what people told me to do and not to just take it lightly. I cried so much last saturday that my eyes were swollen till that night.

And i wont want to except anything from this woman anymore. Thank you for celebrating my birthday and i fucking regrets it.

):

2010-03-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

heyhihello - brighter lights

Sir, shake my hand- it's a pleasure to meet you
I'm not trying to waste your time
my name is Miserable & Full of Regret
but, I'm trying to change that line
up in my head are all the times that I've seen you
and wished that you were dead
but one by one, they turn and point at me
until i wish my demise instead

because, I've heard all the things you say to me
to hold my head high and pick up my feet
but, i think you'll agree
I'm not quite ready to go

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
I'm finding love within the light

without a doubt, i am full of hesitation
I'm positive that I'm unsure
that the disease in my lungs that is keeping me from singing
is so lonely without a cure
inside my heart, just a few inches over
i can hear a stronger beat
it's the only thing that keeps me alive
the only thing that drives my feet

because I've heard what you've said and i figured it out
to hold my head high and just go about
with a smile on my face
because i know, in the end, the sun will come out again

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
I'm finding love within the light

I'll say, "i believe you when you tell me there is still a silver lining"
I'll say, "i believe you when i wake up and the sun is brightly shining"

because I've heard what you've said and i figured it out
to hold my head high and just go about
with a smile on my face
because i know, in the end, the sun will come out again

we can look up
we can let go of this tonight
because we are alive, and we're not alone
i'm finding love within the light

// why is it my heart skips a beat when i see you?

2010-03-01T01:28:00.003+08:00

for no reason, i miss staying awake till early morning. just like before the heartache and all.

2010-02-17T23:32:00.001+08:00

he's so amazing. plus Logan Lerman is hot!

2010-02-15T22:43:00.001+08:00

chris, you're so cute. (:

2010-02-10T02:09:00.003+08:00

i woke up from a weird dream. i was so fucking pissed with someone or something. i really dont know why. anyway, it feels like i have been crying everyday of this month. life's been bad, i guess. im tired of pretending, really.

//
btw, i met my fave nyp lecturers at work. i miss so bloody much. i felt like hugging them, except for mike goh. heheh. he still remembers that i always try to avoid him during attachments. i miss being in school with my fave people.

giving up, almost.

2010-02-06T23:22:00.007+08:00

its been an another lazy day. attempted to clean my room but it more messier than before. Well, i threw quite alot of letters from friends and ex-friends. No point keeping the letters than bring me so much pain and suffering. Maybe there was happiness but who gives a fuck anymore..? I know you wont.

2010-02-06T01:31:00.007+08:00

om nom nom. just ate yummy chocolate cake which was for mum's bday. she's officially 50! i love her.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MUM!

// mark sim, you made me smile when you smile.

2010-02-02T10:10:00.002+08:00

4 days of working non-stop. damn exhausting.

now, i feel like i never do my work like what im paid for. why?

2010-01-30T02:06:00.002+08:00

yesterday was okay. maybe not really when i think of it again.
i got free food from people. (:

and then, i fucked the rest of the day.

2010-01-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

damn song is damn addictive. plus the guys damn gay and i like.

2010-01-25T01:08:00.002+08:00

tired. waiting for the download to be completed. and i hope that i get to meet him.

(:

2010-01-24T10:42:00.000+08:00

owl city is amazing. day off(s) pass by so damn bloood fast man.

FUUUUCKK!

2010-01-22T11:09:00.003+08:00

i read this on some page in facebook, thought i should post it for fun.
and i fucked my work yesterday. sigh.
//

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty and he said no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said no. She then asked him if she were to
leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I'd die. ♥♥

~~THE END~~

Isn't that sweet? Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere on IM or email, outside of school, anywhere! Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. If you break this chain letter you will be cursed with 10 relationship problems for the next ten years. If you post this to 15 pages in 15 minutes, you're safe.

2010-01-21T00:30:00.004+08:00

so odd.

back from work a few minutes ago. went home with my eldest sis. it was fun eating icecream in the bus. HEHEH.

i bought this panda pencil case. uber cute!

// why do i feel kinda upset? mayb..

2010-01-20T00:22:00.004+08:00

she's damn cute, right? i'll go gay for her, definitely.

2010-01-19T23:43:00.003+08:00

i just ate gogofranks a few hours ago. damn nice.

//
well, life's been somehow gooood. maybe bcoz i get to see MARKSIM again and again. but really i have to accept the fact that i will be posted out to elsewhere soon and really get myself confirmed.

im tired of pretending that everything is okay. maybe she's right when told me that i need to communicate more with my family. tbh, i miss talking to mum and listening to her stories / life experiences.

that's it. i need to focus and get myself confirm asap. i need this so badly, right now.

2010-01-18T10:14:00.001+08:00

ugh. i dont feel like going to work.

2010-01-16T23:05:00.005+08:00

hello the 667th post,

after days of being depressed and thinking of things, i managed to cheer myself up. maybe bcoz i saw marksim on the way to the toilet. heh.

glad that he still remembers my name. no other doctors remembers my name at all except him and Dr E. Tan. hah. nice people are always nice.

anyway, a part of me cant wait to get out of here and the other part just wanna stay. the thought of it makes me cry sometimes. im tired of distracting myself from reality.

):

2010-01-12T02:06:00.000+08:00

hello, you're extended 3 more fucking months.

2010-01-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

to stay or to leave? no one cares really.

2010-01-05T20:14:00.006+08:00

BAH. I ACTUALLY FORGOT MY FUCKING PASSWORD TO THIS BLOG, LOVE.
I MIGHT AS WELL DIE RIGHT NOW IF I HAVE TO GET A NEW BLOG!

// and i finally using my old desktop again. i miss it.

2010-01-03T09:31:00.003+08:00

ate burger this early morning. super hungry.

well, its been a while i last post a picture here eh?
sigh. working today. hope i'll surive.

2010-01-01T20:05:00.003+08:00

hello brand new year you.

i guess i really need to request duty on public holidays from now (and Sundays).
just i make it this year and be confirmed officially.

//
i hate calling myself staff nurse when i know im not officially a staff nurse. ):

2009-12-30T16:03:00.000+08:00

i feel like crying right now.

):

2009-12-29T19:11:00.003+08:00

did wound debribement today for my pt.
man, it was super loooong and tiring. but damn worth it.
hopes the wound heals fast from now on. imma cut a bitch if it doesnt.

i feels good to help others. but i still, i feel depressed.
maybe bcoz the deployed staffs are MY batch and confirmed. srsly, i want to cry each time i reminded myself that im not confirmed.

2009-12-26T01:23:00.003+08:00

i think i need to work on every coming xmas from now on.
speaking of xmas, i havent buy the gift for person i got.
srsly, i dont know what to buy. ahh.

// tbh, i just woke up. lol.

2009-12-24T08:59:00.001+08:00

this morning i woke up and told myself that i have to go to work to proof myself wrong.

all i need is to.. cheer up.

2009-12-23T22:53:00.002+08:00

meow.

life's been bad this few days. tbh, i need a hug right now.
hope tmr will be a better day.

# i miss this someone so much after so long. why is this so?

2009-12-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

that day - tokio hotel

rain falls
it don't
touch the ground
I can
Recall
An empty house
You say I'm fixed
But I still feel broken...
Broken
Lights on
Lights off
Nothing works
I'm cool
I'm great
I'm a jerk
I feed myself lies
With words left unspoken
Gonna be Ok
Gonna be Ok
One day
One day

That day never came
That day
Never comes
I'm not letting go
I keep hangin on
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
I've been waiting forever
That day never came

You said I'd be
Comin home
They said
He's fine
Left alone
The screams in my mind
I keep them a secret...
A secret
Doctors and your
Promises
Phsycics, healers
I've seen the best
Whatever they sell
Sure to know how to deal with it
Gonna be Ok
Gonna be Ok
One day
One day

That day never came
That day
Never comes
I'm not letting go
I keep hangin on
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
I've been waiting forever, forever
That day never came

Gonna be Ok
Gonna be Ok
One day

That day never came
That day
Never comes
I'm not letting go
I keep hangin on
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
I've been waiting forever, forever
That day never came
Forever
That day never came

2009-12-20T09:59:00.001+08:00

I'm Gone - Jay Sean

I don't want to have to see you happy.
I can't even bare to see you smile.
Now-a-days I can't look in your eyes
Well I can but it takes a while to show
Told a lot of white lies to hide it all.
But they're beginning to break me down,
Though I promise it's over now.

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
I Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.
I'm gone.

Try my best to keep it all together.
Tryna take it back to where we were.
Never been to good at keeping secrets,
I'll Give you reasons but for what it's worth
Lemme go.
What the hell would make you look at me the same?
Used to say "We're unbreakable."
But I just went & changed it all.

See if I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you?
Could you live with that?
If I told you,
I couldn't live with that! I couldn't live with that!
Noooo!
I'd rather give you no excuses at all.

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

You gave everything & honestly it's every fault of mine.
To beg you for forgiveness just seems wrong.
See, leaving you is one thing
But you've got to realize:
Some things are best unspoken
So please don't ask me why!
Ohhhh

I'm gone.
I don't blame you at all.
'Cause after all the things that you did for me
Got beaten by temptation
I'm gone.
Girl you're better off alone.
I don't want you to see, the truth in me
That's why I'm gone
I'm gone
I'm gone
Byeee
I'm gone.

2009-12-19T16:00:00.001+08:00

ANNNNNDDDDDDDD DR FOO PJ FUCKING REMEMBERS MY NAME! I WAS 'AAAAAAHHHHHHH!'

<3

2009-12-19T15:36:00.004+08:00

i fucking ♥ day offs.
(although i wont get to see our cute houseofficer who is so eager when he saw a case note on the nurses counter / omg he's on facebook like fucking now!)

//.
aww. im glad someone thinks he's cute too. phew i thought i have no taste.
its been a lazy saturday today. showered, breakfasted, slept and here i am blogging.

i miss you, love. to be honest, i miss a whole bunch of people.
where have they gone too? i miss you people, you.

2009-12-09T21:24:00.005+08:00

idk why i feel kinda depressed & somewhat disappointed with myself.
and i hope you're having a good rest right now. you must be tired.

on a side note, someone told me that i GAIN WEIGHT NOW! LIKE WHAT THE FUCKING, REALLY!?

2009-12-06T05:43:00.004+08:00

BELTED SHOULDER BAG

PRINTED BOTTOM SWEATER DRESS

<3

2009-12-01T10:05:00.002+08:00

i keep having bizarre dreams these few days.
idk why really. bizarre is so bizarre, eh? life's been fine lately.

ep. i cant wait for my humanoid deluxe album. yay

2009-11-26T20:17:00.001+08:00

3rd of January 2010.
i hope i get to see the handsome doctor before he goes to KKH O&G.

):

2009-11-24T22:48:00.002+08:00

ah. i'd go gay for her, totally.

2009-11-17T23:37:00.004+08:00

the best chriscrocker video ever.

2009-11-17T15:45:00.000+08:00

goodbye tooth. hello pain and paranoia.

2009-11-08T23:06:00.001+08:00

WHAT IS TAKING HIM SO LONG TO ADD ME!? AHA.

2009-11-06T03:16:00.001+08:00

WATCHING EMAS NOW! KATY PERRY IS SOOOOO CUTE!

ugh. i kept thinking about it again ):

2009-11-04T20:23:00.002+08:00

im keeping the chocolate you gave us as a lucky charm.
hope you're doing great over 'there'.

2009-11-04T17:58:00.001+08:00

phew. life's much better after talking to the doctor.
understand myself is wonderful, i guess?

2009-11-03T01:00:00.003+08:00

after a so-called heart to heart talk with mum, i realised that i think too much of the negative things.

just follow the flow. things happen for a reason, and there's a reason for everything.

(:

2009-11-02T20:58:00.002+08:00

i feel so depressed after not going for the appointment.

am i so wrong?

2009-10-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

omg the cute doctor notice my butch hairstyle.

:D

2009-10-30T01:12:00.002+08:00

i feel so guilty that i could just die.
thank goodness he's not like those fucked up doctors.

2009-10-28T21:53:00.004+08:00

omg the cute doctor is so cute la.
im in love with his cute smile. omg omg omg.

~~ he's on-call today. super cute la. omg im fangirling!

2009-10-26T19:39:00.002+08:00

and i saw that handsome doctor last week. i thought he was dead.

2009-10-26T19:37:00.001+08:00

now, my room is cleaner. yes i promise to try to blog everyday, love.

2009-10-26T01:47:00.002+08:00

fuck ah. like everyone i know already taking their annual leaves.
just carry on; keep moving forward.

2009-10-24T22:46:00.007+08:00

suddenly, i realised why i luuuuuuuvv tokio hotel & bill kaulitz so much. http://tokiohotelsg.blogspot.com

bill kaulitz, pls sing moar acoustic versions of the new songs!

2009-10-21T20:42:00.001+08:00

quit or carry on?

):

2009-10-17T19:43:00.002+08:00

2009-10-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

im trying to drown those words with music. does it work really?

2009-10-16T22:44:00.002+08:00

did you hear that?
YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM.

define ATTITUDE PROBLEM. srsly, im stuck at these two words.

2009-10-12T00:42:00.001+08:00

I WANNA FUCKING SING A SONG!

2009-09-25T01:17:00.002+08:00

im sorry, i understand you still.
i feel so useless, idiotic.. i feel like a total failure.

2009-09-15T09:06:00.000+08:00

i love you, billie joe armstrong.

2009-09-11T04:43:00.005+08:00

im so tired, love.
so tired that i didnt bother to even listen to all the humanoid's previews.

just post the link so i'll remember to umm.. listen? [german] [english]

2009-09-08T20:50:00.002+08:00

can you hear that? my heart is breaking.
i'll cry everytime i think about work.

life's so fucking horrible. idk if i can take this any longer.

2009-09-07T00:15:00.001+08:00

finally, ~~today~~ i mean ytd have to be the greatest workday ever!
i hope i can make it though. srsly, i dont mind working on raya.

(:

2009-09-03T20:57:00.001+08:00

i feel like crying. cry till there's nothing to cry about.
but im afraid if i start having those thoughts again.

it almost happen and i feel like banging my head on the wall till it breaks open.

2009-09-02T00:14:00.005+08:00

i hope i wont screw up again ~~tmr~~ later.

2009-09-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to the kaulitz twins.
stay awesome and come to Singapore fucking soon already!

2009-09-01T23:35:00.001+08:00

joshua andrew aragon reminds me of you, Dr. Seow En ☮
and your pen is still with me.

2009-08-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

fuck facebook.
i cant upload my fucking picture. im going to bed!

2009-08-26T01:12:00.002+08:00

dear love, i feel like crying when i think.. think about things.
i feel like a failure today. i srsly do know what to do.
totally at lost. i wanted to hit my head so hard that it bleeds.

dear love, i miss you. i miss you so much that it hurts.

i fucking love you. maybe im lying.

2009-08-19T20:20:00.001+08:00

bah. i just wasted my day off.
just woke up and now eating again.

btw, guys will eyeliner are always attractive.

2009-08-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

lmfao.
srsly for two days i have been playing the sims.
life's much better with sims.

well im finding an interesting shit to post.. DAMN

2009-08-06T23:38:00.001+08:00

2009-08-05T19:19:00.003+08:00

i can already smell the new album. i have to have it.
i guess Bill Kaulitz is the most perfect being i ever laid my eyes on.

//
k, fuck my life.
i think i hate her so fucking much.
it seems like she's picking on me. everything i fucking do is wrong.
i guess she is finding fault with me. fuck her.

why are you talking to others secretly when i have walked away?
if you not talking about me, then who are you fucking talking about?
maybe im paranoid, but im positive that she talks behind my fucking back.
people makes mistakes. people have feelings. so what if someone fucks your past?
it doesnt give a fucking right for you to fuck my life too.

this is the fucking reason i dont really like sharing my problems with you, motherfuckers!
you'll pretend like you give a fucking fuck and fucking forget it.

2009-07-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

im going insane.
the wait is killing me..
im having weird thoughts now.
all the 'what if's. im afraid.
why havent they call me yet?

maybe its true that im positive. maybe this marks the end of my fucking life..

2009-07-12T18:35:00.002+08:00

how i wished this is all just a fucked up nightmare.
right now, the thermometer and tablets are my best friends.
five days off from work is already bad enough.
i dont know how will they react when im back.
i bet they must have hated me for endangering their lives.

all i could think right now is how my result would be..

2009-07-11T18:45:00.002+08:00

right now im lying on the bed.
been coughing the whole time. and i actually bother to take my meds this time.

you never realise how fragile life is until someone you love passes on.
rest in peace my dearest uncle.

2009-07-09T18:32:00.004+08:00

im shivering.

2 days mc. called the bloody place and got reprimanded.
srsly i dont know. at least i bothered to call and inform.
i know, im new. but you dont have to treat me this fucking way.
tbh, i fucking hate this place. why the fuck im here again?

i rather die than to come back the bloody place.
i dont feel belong at all. no, i dont. i doubt i will.
i will laughing and pretend that im having a fucking good time with you guys.
but, no i wont. i wont. i hate it.

i hate myself ):

2009-07-07T17:36:00.002+08:00

just sit back and enjoy the fucking show.

the dorsal part of my hands are so fucking itchy.
damn dry right now. having two beutiful cuts on my left arm.
tbh, i cant wait to start going back to school. i hate working life.
those of the same batch as me have prolly taken 4-10 cases.

i feel so fucking useless now. fuck this.